Ride Report

Not the Alpine Classic (2018)

Audax Theme

A DNF…with apologies to R.E.M.
(Plenty of time to practice this Andrew)

That’s great, it starts with an earthquake
Birds and snakes, and aeroplanes
And Andrew Bragg is not afraid…

Eye of a hurricane, listen to your legs churn
World serves its own needs,
O’Reillys climb in morning breeze,
Speed it up a notch, speed, grunt, no, strength,
The ladder starts to clatter
With a fear of height, up, down, up, down
Slow down Helen, slow down Beth,
Let me, let me, catch my breath,
And a government for hire and a combat site
Harry, Jeff, me and Beth
With the Furies breathing down our neck.

Canunga Caf, meat pie, gotta fly,
Look at that low plane, fine, then
Uh oh, overflow, population, common group
Australia Day, Bogans play
World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed
Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light
Feeling pretty psyched.

It’s…NOT the Alpine Classic as we know it
No, it’s not the Alpine Classic as we know it
It’s not the Alpine Classic as we know it, but I feel fine…

Six o’clock, T.V. hour, don’t get caught in foreign tower
Slash and burn, return, listen to your legs burn
Pine Creek: dry, dry, am I going to die, die
Legs explode, writhe on the road
Light a candle, light a motive, up down, up down
Watch your heel crush, crush, uh oh
Fudge fairies, no fear, cavalier, renegade and steering clear
A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline.

It’s the Best of All Lookout and we know it (I had some time alone)
It’s the Best of All Lookout and we know it (I had some time alone)
It’s the Best of All Lookout and we know it and I feel fine
I feel fine (I feel fine)

Bombing down, Advancetown, slam a gel, feeling well
Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein
Russ Hinze, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs
Binna Burra, Binna Burra, a hill too far, where’s my mother
You symbiotic, patriotic, slam but neck, right, right.

It’s…NOT the Alpine Classic as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It’s…NOT the Alpine Classic as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It’s not the Alpine Classic as we know it …. and I feel fine
It’s not the Alpine Classic as we know it
It’s not the Alpine Classic as we know it
It’s not the Alpine Classic as we know it ….. and I feel fffiiinnneeeee….